My Favorite Part of Today

I wasn't feeling well and didn't do anything monumental today (always disappointing on a three- day weekend) BUT I did have some splendid moments....

Emma reading "Gallop, Oh Gallop"- a poem about horses, out loud. She read it so beautifully. I can't believe how well that child reads aloud!

Grace telling me that Grandma Otti said that if she didn't clean her ears, cabbage would grow out of them. Grace was quite concerned about this.

Talking to Matt on the phone. When I was asking him about graduation gifts, my (almost) 18-year-old stepson said, "Dawn, I make 200.00 a week. I buy myself whatever I want." I wish I were in a place in life when I thought 200.00 a week was a surplus!

Finishing cleaning my house. I HATE doing it, but when I am done, and the house is really clean, it feels SO good. I bribed the girls to help me (beyond normal chores)...I had those girls vacuuming under couch cushions and polishing base boards. They rocked!

Going to Trader Joes. MAN I love that store. My favorite purchases- Vanana Yorgurt (the perfect mixture of vanilla and banana), Emergencee (Dana's recommendation to help me feel better), Lemon Curd (I adore it!) and organic raspberries. Yum.

Now...it's past ten and I'm going to put on my pajamas and watch a movie or READ in bed. I know it's late, but my OTHER favorite part of today is that there is NO SCHOOL tomorrow and the gals and I are sleeping in.

School: Projects and Parties

Ian and his Immigrant Report

Me, Mary, and Nicole

Mary and Jeff (top)

Katherine and Dana's baby, Blake

Emma, Josie, Grace, Mikail, Sophie, and Jade


Now that it's May, school is winding down for everyone.

One of my great joys this year has been tutoring my nephew, Ian. In exchange for Grace's dance lessons, I take Ian in the afternoons and we work on homework. He's been working really hard, and his progress has been significant! (I call my truck the "tutor bus" because after school I have Ian, Emma, and Grace, along with their backpacks, lunch bags, and projects.) Recently, Ian was assigned an "Immigrant Project;" he had to research one of his relatives and the way he or she came to the United States.

Ian and I truly bonded over our research of Adomas Zakarouski, Ian's great, great grandfather (my great grandfather.) At just sixteen, Adomas boarded a tramp steamer in Lithuania and travelled to Ellis Island. Once in America, he moved to Illinois, where he met his wife (Great, Great Grandma) and they started a sewing business. When Adomas died, he left Great Grandma with no money; she moved into a Polish neighborhood and in order to fit in, she changed her name to Zakarski, the Polish form of Zakarouski. Every time she moved to a new neighborhood, she changed her name.

Adomas's son was my grandfather, Stanley Raymond Zakar. "Grandpa Ray" as we called him, grew up and joined the Navy, and his officers told him to shorten his name because Zakarouski was too difficult to pronounce. He shortened it to Zakar, which is my dad's last name and my maiden name.

Ian made the most rockin' immigrant project board known to man! We are both very proud of it. We added maps, pictures, and his report, and the entire board's colors were those of the Lithuanian flag. We felt pretty crafty and clever when we were finished!

The best part of tutoring Ian was recently when my sister said that when he received his progress report (which was very, very good) he couldn't wait to show me. :) He's such a punkin pie I tell ya!

Other school news: Our English department had a party/bbq and all of us ate (a lot) while the kids played. I work with a wonderful group of friends, and I love watching our kids grow up together.

School's almost out and I can't wait for summer break to begin, but I must say that parties and projects have been rather enjoyable this year. :)

Glamour Cowgirl and Dance Class Dropout

I love this picture. It is a perfect photographic display of my daughters' personalities.

Emma is in a sensible tank top and blue jeans; we're about to go visit the pony with our friend Kylie (on the right) and Emma wants to be prepared for some real horse interaction. She put on the hat to humor the other girls, but she'll take it off once we get to the ranch so she can wear her helmet.

Grace is all glammed up to go riding, although once we get to the ranch, she will not ride at all. She'll run around showing Kylie all of the things to do: swing on the swingset, find the pig in the hay stack, visit the new baby horse, jump on the trampoline....but she won't ride. Grace is wearing her pink cowgirl hat (with the tiara), her pink Roxy capri pants (not sensible to ride in) and horse socks. Grace is NOT wearing boots because she loaned them to Kylie so Kylie could be a "real cowgirl" like Grace. :)

Miss Emma Claire rides Pony Gypsi like a little pro. She gallops around the arena with her buns sticking to that saddle like peanut butter. When (and if) Grace gets on the pony, the pony just stands there. Gypsi is smart enough to know that Grace has NO IDEA how to control her, so Gypsi just stays put, or tries to squeeze her head under the arena fence to eat grass.

Now dance class...dance class is another story.

Emma decided NOT to take Hip Hop because Hannah Montana bugs her.

Grace enrolled in two Hip Hop classes, as well as ballet and tap. She dances four afternoons a week.

Emma asked Auntie if she could NOT wear her hair in a bun and NOT wear pink. Auntie said those were the rules. Emma complied, and didn't complain, but didn't look thrilled.

Grace has 900 dance outfit combinations- jazz pants, footless tights, velvet ballet leotards, sparkle skirts. Some are hand-me-downs, some are Emma's old stuff, and some are Grace's. She doesn't care, as long as she can throw together a new ensemble for each class.

Grace is truly a talented dancer and she has the willowy body of a ballerina. She is a total dancin' kiss-up, raising her hand to answer Auntie's questions, and folding her hands quietly while Auntie helps the other students.

Emma's short tenure as a ballerina consisted of messing around in the back of the class, stomping across the dance floor, and zoning out. Finally one day, she came out of dance class with her face all blotchy and she quit. "I get too tired doing dance. I'd rather ride pony any old day." And that was that.

Emma's ballet slippers are now in Grace's closet, and Grace's pink cowgirl boots are clean and shiny.

Sisters.

Emma and Gracie remind me of my sister Danielle and me. Danielle doesn't read; I adore books. Danielle hates English class at school. I teach English. She dances beautifully; I am unbelievably uncoordinated! Danielle loves to exercise; I have to force myself to go to the gym.

But...I love her to death. Being so different has only brought us closer together. I know Emma and Grace will be just as close, if not closer than we are.

100 Things About Me

Thank you, Steph, for the challenge. Right now I can't even think of 10 things, but here goes:

1. I have to read before I go to bed. It's how I unwind.
2. I adore homemade chocolate pudding.
3. I hate running for any length of time.
4. I spent most of my life hating pink; now, I love it!
5. I never in my wildest dreams thought I would have twins, but always knew I'd have girls (or knew I SHOULD have girls.)
6. I think bookstores are the best places on earth and could spend an entire day in one without getting bored.
7. I fell in love with my husband in 11th grade but "lost" him for almost four years after that year because he moved away. Later, he "found" me.
8. I believe in love at first sight, soul mates, true love, fate, and all of that star-gazy stuff.
9. I have more good girlfriends NOW than I've ever had in my life, which is weird.
10. I own a lot of DVD's of movies I love, but rarely make time to watch them.
11. I'm addicted to People Magazine and usually look forward to when it arrives on Fridays or Saturdays.
12. I get really frustrated when my People arrives at Target or the grocery store before it gets to my mailbox.
13. I secretly think I'll write a book and get it published one day. I've started two books, but writing both frustrates and fascinates me.
14. My headboard is my favorite piece of furniture in the house. It's antique red with cherubs on it. It looks like it would be in an old villa in Italy.
15. Speaking of Italy, I've never travelled to Europe, and this is my biggest regret.
16. I plan to travel to England on a "literary" tour- Shakespeare, Austin, etc.
17. I have a pen pal in England whom I met in 1st grade. Her name is Dawn too.
18. My parents used to own a Sizzler.
19. Having parents who owned a Sizzler made me fascinated with McDonalds burgers when I was a kid.
20. I love planning meals and buying groceries, but truthfully don't cook enough.
21. My husband is a wonderful cook! His oatmeal cookies are the bomb.
22. I kept a journal/diary from around 5th grade until after I started dating my husband. I still have all of my journals.
23. I think I have the best job in the world. I can't believe I get paid to talk about books and college. (Hee hee!)
24. When I became a Christian for the second time I lost several friendships, which leads me to believe that although people think Christians are judgemental, Agnostics and Atheists can be far more so.
25. I pray every day- mostly more conversationally or thankfully than anything else.
26. I faced infertility for years and think my twin girls are the biggest blessings in the world.
27. I was hours from adopting a little boy who would have been named Nicholas. The birth mom seemed to get cold feet, and I knew in the pit of my stomach I had to back out of the adoption. I still wonder about the baby (who is now around 8 years old.)
28. I love nothing more than a house full of kids. I adore having my niece and nephew over, and I love it when the girls have friends over.
29. Herbal tea rocks.
30. I don't relax enough. It's hard for me to "let go" sometimes and just chill.
31. I worry a lot and work on giving it to God.
32. I write poetry.
33. I love Karaoke.
34. When I was little, I wanted to BE Olivia Newton John from Grease and Xanadu.
35. I used to be the best roller skater at the roller rink. :)
36. I love horses and riding, and have been thrown off a horse countless times.
37. I'm scared of waves because I've been pummeled in the ocean.
38. If I watch a sad movie, it sticks with me for a really long time.
39. I make embarrassing voices for all kinds of things, especially the pets.
40. I adore pugs.
41. I have really vivid, long, story-like dreams.
42. I loved college and miss taking classes.
43. I've broken my left arm three times: Once, falling off a horse, once swinging off a bar and hitting the playground border, and the third time skateboarding at night.
44. I've dislocated my left shoulder telling a story.
45. I wear Clinique Happy and can't smell it anymore, but other people smell it on me. :)
46. I like really hot baths.
47. I fall asleep with the tv on.
48. Once, when I was little, I hid in a store dressing room from my mom for a really long time. She had the whole store looking for me and almost called the police. I knew people were worrying, but I stayed hidden for a looooong time. I have no idea why I did it.
49. When I watch videos of my girls when they were babies, it makes me want to cry. I miss those babies (even though having twin baby girls was difficult a lot of the time.)
50. I talk to my mom every day. She rocks.
51. I like my dad much better now than I ever have. I respect him a lot, too.
52. I want to read the entire Bible this year, but have been lagging. Leviticus is BORING.
53. I got caught cheating in high school from Senor Decker. I had written the verb tenses on my jeans.
54. Worst experience from school #1: P.E. I hated everything about it, including the tight blue PE shorts.
55. Worst experience from school #2: The bus. Bullies, crazy bus drivers, cold, humilating....just all around terror.
56. When I was 16-18, I never should have been allowed to have a driver's license. I was a horrible driver!
57. I adore Target and find it theraputic to push the red cart around the store. When I was pregnant with the twins I rode in the Gramma cart.
58. I miss my stepson and wish the relationship didn't face so many obstacles.
59. I was a vegetarian in 12th grade and during my freshman year of college. I became a vegetarian again last year. It started with looking at pictures that stuck with me. (I DO eat fish...so I don't know if I count as a full vegetarian.)
60. I have started buying products that are "cruelty free" which is more difficult than it seems like it would be.
61. I buy organic a lot of the time.
62. Trader Joes is my favorite grocery-type store.
63. I LOVE sushi, especially spicy tuna rolls. (Speaking of the poor fish...)
64. I was the worst waitress who ever lived, which is why I worked as a nanny in college.
65. I wear crazy pajama pants. (Right now, I'm wearing pj pants with candy canes on them.)
66. I can't stand it when people smoke near entrances and exits to buildings. I abhor cigarrettes, which is ironic since I didn't feel so strongly about them in college....
67. My biggest fear is anything happening to one of my girls.
68. I didn't care for high school, but I love teaching high school.
69. I love being alone.
70. I don't think I look good with long hair.
71. I don't mind it when the pugs snore, but I don't like it when my husband snores.
72. When my husband snores, I pinch his nose until it stops. :( I know it's mean.
73. I LOVE to stay up late and sleep in.
74. When I cry, it's hard for me to stop. Once the waterworks get going, it's full blast.
75. I am addicted to dark chocolate and usually HAVE to have a piece after lunch.
76. Spiders and crawly insects creep me out. I would NEVER hold a Tarantula.
77. I think people who ride in hot air balloons are crazy. It just doesn't seem logical.
78. I'm trying to simplify my life and not make any of it about the "stuff" (which makes my trips to Target less likely to occur.)
79. I don't care about designer labels or expensive cars. I think it's a waste of money.
80. I used to shop at the thrift store even though my parents could afford the designer stuff.
81. I've been to a Grateful Dead show.
82. I've been punched in the jaw at a Bad Religion show just for pushing a grabby boy away from me, but I've never been in a true "fight."
83. I once lost my sister's Doc Martin boot in the pit at a Social Distortion show. :)
84. I'm glad I don't have any tattoos.
85. I don't care about getting tan.
86. I love wearing dark polish on my toes.
87. I bite my cuticles.
88. I can't stand people who buy pets and then disgard them as if they are "items" and not family.
89. I would like to adopt a child from another country someday.
90. I wrote about my current life in a journal entry when I was a freshmen in college...I spelled out all that I wished for, including daughters, pugs, a sweet husband, and a teaching job.
91. I can't draw.
92. I collect children's books.
93. I adore coffee and drink it every morning- but I have to have flavored cream in it.
94. I rely on Advil too much.
95. I own a pink mountain bike.
96. I like history now, but hated it in high school.
97. I don't look good in hats.
98. I like shabby chic/antique stuff.
99. I'm an optimist, but people have disappointed me.
100. Apparently, self reflection isn't difficult for me!

Spring Break: Part 1

I am thrilled that we have two weeks off for spring break. I'm calling this "Spring Break: Part 1" because I plan to pack the second week with just as much fun.

We spent Friday at the Wild Animal Park. We walked the entire park instead of riding the tram, which to me was much better. We were able to see behind the scenes at the Elephant Barn and got really close to a male elephant they are planning to move to the zoo. We saw a mama elephant and her baby...precious! The baby was messing around in the water with his trunk and playing with some hay. We saw lions and their cubs up close (the lion exhibit is so cool- they have an expansive area encircled by glass, so we got right next to a daddy lion passed out with his cubs sleeping all over him.) We fed the lorakeets, saw the gorillas, and rode the merry-go-round. I love the Wild Animal Park. :)

Today was Easter, and we had a fancy brunch at our house with the Woods (it was Baby Kathleen's first Easter and she wore bunny ears!) and my parents and grandma. We had Jeff's crepes- lemon blueberry, peach, and butter maple. YUM. The girls had an Easter egg hunt and when everyone went home, we took a short nap on the couch. Later, we woke up and decided to go on a hike. We drove a few miles to the Santa Rosa Plateau- it is SO beautiful up there! I can't believe that such a peaceful, expansive, gorgeous place is only 5 minutes from my house. We hiked over five miles, and Grace was the "trail boss" leading the way the whole time. We saw 26 stink bugs (Grace counted), meadows, and oak trees as far as the eye can see. The area reminds me a lot of the Central Coast in the spring...the hills are green and you expect Ma and Pa Ingalls to pull up in their wagon at any moment. :) It was such a beautiful day to be outside and to thank God for his creation. It seemed appropriate to be in such a lovely place on Easter.

Stay tuned for Spring Break: Part 2. :)

Turkeys and Sheep and Llamas...Oh My!

We spent last Saturday visiting a ranch... I really shouldn't call it a ranch, but rather an animal sanctuary. My student Kyle invited us out to his family's ranch in La Cresta to see his animals. I talked to his mom and she said, "Plan to spend at least two hours, and bring two heads of lettuce and some carrots."

I didn't know what to expect.

We ended up meeting (and feeding dead mice to) a rare crane, feeding swans, turkeys, and fancy chickens, petting sheep, draft horses, and Buttercup the cow, petting turtles, and feeding a 37 year old donkey. The kids were in Heaven! It was the best day. We also saw a teepee, llamas, and a real working firetruck (that my student bought with money from his chicken business...hee hee). The kids were in awe of the whole thing. It was like having a private tour of a zoo! Of course Emma, my future "ranch owner," was totally content to stay there all day, and even asked me to leave her there.

Someday, hopefully Emma and Gracie will build a giant ranch and have a guest house on the property for their mom and dad. (They'll still want us around then, right? Ha ha ha...)

Gypsi and Emma- A Match Made in Heaven

Emma and Gypsi are best friends. Gypsi can be the naughtiest pony who ever lived- cantering when she should trot, sneezing in Emma's face, nipping Emma's hands to look for treats, or dragging Emma toward the grass so she can eat. But Emma is in love. In her eyes, Gypsi is her best friend, and if she could, she would stay at the ranch all day and all night. She asked if she could sleep on Gypsi! Emma's best friend has four legs, a fancy forelock, a long tail, and giant brown eyes. I don't know if it's just me, but sometimes I look at the two of them together, and I think Emma and Gypsi are meant for each other. They match! They are bound to be best friends for years to come.

Grace would prefer to play with Jenna, the ranch owner's daughter. Grace swings on the swingset and pets the ranch pig while Emma slips Gypsi carrots, gets one more giant pony kiss, and rides off into the sunset.

The Dog and Cat Party

Here are some pictures from the girls' birthday party. It was ADORABLE...probably the best party we've ever had. We played "Dog House"- kind of like musical chairs, only whoever ended up in the doghouse was out. We had a dog bone scavenger hunt, with numbered dog bones being the winners. All the kids danced to "Who Let the Dogs Out" and "How Much is That Doggie in the Window?" We had a "Catwalk" fashion show. We played "Dog/Cat" which was a game where you passed the stuffed animal around a circle and the dog had to catch the cat. Instead of cake, we had "pupcakes" that Jeff and the girls decorated. (They had licorice whiskers!) There was an adoption center, and every guest got to adopt an animal, and they got an "offical adoption certificate." When each kid came into the house, they got dog or cat faces painted on, and received dog or cat ear head bands. It was so cute and so much fun!

Mermaids in the Tub

Mermaids in the Tub

Emma and Grace are in the tub. I can hear them imagining/playing. They are playing mermaids.

Mermaid Grace- "My mother is poor. All she buys me are rags to sew clothes for myself. All I ever get for my birthday are rags and milk and books."

Mermaid Emma- "Well I'm so poor that I have to make my own toothbrushes. I make them out of hermit crab shells."

Mermaid Grace- "I have shiny rainbow sparkle hair. Every time you see it, you are just amazed."

Mermaid Emma- "Let's say I don't care about your hair. I just have raggy hair"

Seven

As of tomorrow (1.24.01) I have 7-year-olds.

I just LOVE those beautiful girls.

Grace arrived first- screaming, with painted doll lips and a mohawk. Tiny but mighty. :)

Emma, ever the drama queen, came second, holding her breath. Her hair- duck fuzz. Her rosy cheeks and sweet cry.

I'm in awe of them.

It seems that I brought them home yesterday, bundled up. "It'll never be the same," I told Jeff. "We were two, now we're four. There will always be two more people here."

And there are.

And they are loud. And funny. And crazy. And genuine. And selfish. And loving. And creative. And silly. And beautiful.

I am so in love with them.

And I can't believe they're turning 7!

Yesterday Emma said, "Mama! I'm 7!"
I replied, "No hunny, you're 6! Give me one more day of 6 before you turn 7. You'll never be 6 again. Enjoy it!"
"No, Mama. I'm 7!"
"You're 6."
"I'm sssssssssssseeeeeeevennnnnnnnnnnn."
"Emma- You're six. Be six. One more day."
Sigh. "But six is so borrrrrring."

Grace is not AS concerned about the moment her new age will take effect. Instead, she is my Martha Stewart party planner. She is constantly revising her dog and cat party in her head. She presents it to me like we are collaborating on a 5-course meal for business executives.

"I'm thinking....you know how we were going to have the 'Who Let the Dogs Out' song during our game? Well...I'm thinking we should get more songs on your i-pod to play during all the games. Like...cat songs too."

"Do you know any cat songs, Grace?"

"No. But...I'm thinking there must be some. And Mama... Breemember (I love how she says "remember" and I never correct her even though I should....) Breemember when we thought of painting everyone's face? Well, I'm thinking we can let them choose the color for their whiskers." When Grace is serious she always says "I'm thinking...."

Seven. I don't think there are many ages I like more than (almost) Seven.

Giggles

Love notes: "Mama- You are the best Mama EVER. I love you so so so so so much"

Loose teeth.

Stuffed animals that are REAL.

An incredible compassion for anyone or anything in pain. (Unless it's your sister and you're the one inflicting it.)

Using your dad as a jungle gym.

Pretend. Mermaids in the tub. Horses on the grass. The car? A boat. The loveseat? A stage.

Conversations with the pets.

Santa? Yes. (Duh....)

Tooth fairy? Maybe...

Easter Bunny? No way.

Big questions about clouds, the sky, and flying.

Belief that it would be perfectly fine to marry your dad and live at home forever.

Endless stories that go on and on and on (even-like in that commercial- if you get OUT of the car and walk all the way around to the other side to open the door for them....they're still talking like you can hear them.)

A TOTAL sense of humor (tonight it was for a strange and particularly bad singer on American Idol.)

The absolute need for your parents during a nightmare, a new situation, or any illness.

Tight hugs that really MEAN it.

Seven

Oh, January!

Pictures: #1-Jeff Smith, circa 1989. Credits to Stephanie Wallace, who lured all the cute punk kids to her house for youth group. (What a baby face!) #2 Grace and me took dozens of pictures like this. We're just sharin' the love! #3 Emma with one of her best friends, Olivia, who turned one on January 9th!

Lots of important dates this month...

Tomorrow is my anniversary. Jeff and I got married 13 years ago! I can hardly believe it. Even more random...I met him as a junior in high school in January, 1989, which was 19 years ago. (He was new to my school.) My classes got switched at semester, and I was put into Jeff's history class. He sat in front of me and I had the hugest crush on him with his long bangs, partially dyed black hair, and ratty t-shirts. I hung out with him until that summer, and he moved away. For the longest time I thought about him, wrote poems about him, and missed him, although I didn't really know why. (We just hung out a lot and kissed a couple of times. Why did his image stick with me?... I wondered.) Now I see it clearly...my future husband was sitting there with his black converse and skater bangs! Our girls were probably humming through the air like pixie dust around us in that stuffy history classroom. The story had a happy ending...although we didn't "find each other" again until 1993 when that boy finally got it right and called/found me. :)

On the 24th, Miss Emma and Miss Grace turn 7! Yowzas! After Jeff and I got married, I was ready to have kids any time. It took us years, 3 or 4 REALLY stressful ones (doctor's visits, adoption plans...yikes.) And it seemed like once they arrived, that first year was just HARD. We were exhausted. Now...those ladies just crack me up every day. Grace tells me she wants to drive a car with "a convertible top with flowers all over it" and that her middle name is "Adorable." If I crack a joke, she says, "Good one, Mama!" Emma, tells me she is going to live next store to me until she's old, looks at me with her serious eyebrows furrowed, asks me about things she's seen on Animal Planet, and tells me she's "not as creative as Grace." :)

I used to despise January. The comfort and coziness of Christmas packed away, the harsh reality of returning to school in Bishop in the dead of winter, when they MADE you go out to recess even if it were FREEZING, and I used to go into the bathroom stall and my legs would be shaking and goosebumpy! The endless second semester. In high school, I was always in trouble in January, grounded from my car, made to stay home.

Now, January is marked with celebration. I feel melancholy, hopeful, and ambitious. Mostly, I feel excited for the two dates that commemorate my favorite people in this life...Jeff and my girls.