A Lovely Lady

Grandma's 90th Birthday- (Not 2025!) :)

When Grandma, Gracie and I had tea at the Huntington Gardens. 

The girls' third birthday. Grandma always loved being right in the middle of the fun.

Christmas 2008. Praying before dinner.

Grams and Megan.

One of my favorites. She was in her absolute glory in the picture!

Sassy little great-grandkids!

Grandma and almost all of her great grandkids. Such a precious picture.

Last year- trying on junk jewelry. I even decorated her head! :)

Having her own personal piano recital from Emma

Another VERY fond memrory- Grandma got really dressed up to come down the street to dinner. 

Relaxing with Megan after our dinner

She adored ALL dogs- Sophie knew it!

Olivia knew it too!

One of her final visits with Auntie Anne. This was a good day.

With Danielle at my Master's Degree celebration

Gracie and Grandma on her last birthday

Both girls with Grams on her last birthday

Mom and Grandma with some of the gifts. Notice the Baileys!

I love her!

Kissing my hand after she gave me the ring

This cracks me up. She put her Bailey's in her walker.

Her final Christmas

Over Christmas break. Having some chamomile tea with me.

The infamous dalmatian robe and her wine

The gals and Grandma on their last visit. I'm so grateful they had this!

What a precious memory. 

My Grandma Otti was a lovely lady in every way. She lived in Chicago as a young girl, and she used to drive her dad's cars around the city to run errands for him as early as twelve years old. Later, she moved to California after her family lost everything. They started out in the Pomona area, and later moved to San Diego. She raised my Uncle Tom and mom in a house in La Mesa on a street called Butterfly Lane. We visited the house last year, driving through the neighborhood where her children played. In the past year, Grandma had a better memory for things in the past than for things that happened a week ago. She told vivid stories about her parents, my grandpa's job at the hardware store, and her friends in the swim club. I asked Grandma recently what her favorite time of life was, and she said that it was being a mother to her kids when they were young. She was a true caregiver.

Grandma Otti's husband and my grandfather Tom died when I was in fifth grade, and it was from that point on that I felt a pull on my heart every time we would leave after a visit with Grandma Otti. I remember pulling out of her driveway while she waved and wondering if she was lonely, or if I would see her again. (I thought she was VERY old. Grandma had grey hair in her early 30's, so she looked like a grandma for a very long time. Little did I know she would live to meet my daughters and to know them as ten-year-olds!)

Grandma was definitely a lady of The Depression. She was very frugal with her money, always saying, "We'll make that." She didn't throw ANYTHING away...from toothpaste tubes to old curtains, the "treasures" in Grandma's house were a plenty! I remember her snatching my Raggedy Ann doll to "fix it" when I was about nine years old. I found the doll years later (in my 20s!) in a box in her garage when we were moving her out of her house. I teased her that she kidnapped dolls.

Grandma was known for loading kids up into the car and going on adventures. She could make a trip to KMart exciting! I used to look forward to riding the horse merry-go-round in the front of the grocery store. Grandma would also put up with frequent visits to the Barbie aisle, and although she didn't buy me Barbies, she always had a box of ancient dolls/plastic animals/blocks/books/toys/etc. to play with.

Grandma was a beach grandma. She taught me to make drip castles, to duck under body boards, to swim. She never forgot the sunscreen, and would make us wait at least 30 minutes to go in the water.

I loved visiting my grandma at her house in Poway. She had a white swing on her patio and a very big Bougainvillea bush next to the patio gate. She would teach us to water the trees and plants, to pull weeds, and to clip roses in her beautiful yard, but we never wanted to listen too long; we were anxious to go into the pool. Grandma usually let us go after having us complete a chore or teaching us a life lesson. She loved to teach us important aspects of life.

Grandma taught me to drive. I was overly-confident, and put the pedal to the metal. When this happened, she slapped me on the leg repeatedly until I slowed down. She was more upset at my speedy driving than when I accidentally crashed her Acura. (She had allowed me to drive to the mall in the rain, and I only had my learner's permit.) Although a worrier about some things, Grandma was never one to hold back on something that would teach you a lesson. Crashing the car after failing to understand a four-way stop was a definite lesson.

I loved sharing books with my Grandma. Before she lost her eyesight, she was an avid reader. She and I would read the same books and talk about them. We liked the same kind of movies as well. She took me to see Dead Poet's Society in the theater and we both cried like babies when it was over.

Grandma drove longer than she should have. She used to pull up to the front of my house in Ocean Beach and hit the neighbor's car, back into our trash cans, and then deny she did either of those things. She had a knack for exaggeration. I remember her telling her friends that my family had a "summer home" in the mountains (which was really a fifth wheel trailer), and I would be horribly embarrassed because I hated to be considered "rich."

Grandma loved to cook. She made pot roast, mashed potatoes, and coconut cake. She loved making poached eggs on toast for any hungry grandchildren in the morning. Her kitchen was filled with the most beautiful, tiny dishes and plates. She would NEVER serve you something out of its original container. Instead, she would put it into a fancy dish with a tiny spoon. Ketchup? Fancy dish. Sugar? Fancy dish.

My grandma loved Dalmatians, the color purple, Oprah, Dr. Phil, wine, and candy. She was often scared that the great grandkids would swipe her candy, so she would hide it in her dresser drawers or her bookshelf, but then forget where she'd put it. There were many stale candies found years after they'd been safely hidden.

My grandma had many quirky sayings, like "Bingle Bangle Boom" and "It's the Dickens." If she wanted a piece of something, she would say, "Give me a 'hunk' of that." She liked to try pieces of things but pretend she wasn't going to eat the whole thing, so she would "test" See's Candy or a dozen donuts by picking bits off each one and leaving the rest.

On my Grandma's final birthday, she gave me a beautiful gift. She had recently hurt her hand falling, and her ring finger was sore. She could no longer wear her wedding ring, and she knew that I loved the ring more than anything. She gave me her ring, and I didn't even need to have it fitted. It is a perfect fit! I now look at it as a reminder of how much I loved my grandma, and how important family is in our lives.

I adored my grandma and will never, ever forget what a wonderful grandma she was. I hope to be just that sort of grandma. I will most likely be stubborn. I will probably exaggerate. I will definitely make up weird sayings. I will very likely pick at sweets like donuts and chocolate, and hide them from my grandkids. Most importantly, I will love my family deeply. I will teach them all that I know. I will give them my time, attention, and wisdom. I will do this in honor of my grandma, who showered me with love.

Spring Break Wills and Will Nots

It is supposed to be spring. The weather disagrees. It hailed here today! I just turned on the HEATER. :(

I am on a break from school for the next two weeks.

I Will:

• sleep in
• read (the pile of books on my nightstand is becoming treacherous.)
• cook....something
• visit the ranch- our birds live up at Gidget's now, so we have all kinds of animals to see
• chill
• veg
• catch up on TIVO shows and watch a movie or two on instant Netflix
• exercise (Jillian Michaels tapes! Woo hoo)
• do "Where I'm From" poems with my gals. I'm interested to see what theirs will be like
• tell my husband how sweet and handsome he is
• paint the kitchen mocha
• hold the pugs, pet the cats, make voices for all of them...
• figure out my new computer gadget. It's some kind of pen that transcribes handwriting onto the computer. I won it at the CADA conference.
• visit with Grandma Otti 
•  (cough) grade papers so my life won't be insane when I return to school
• brew tea/drink tea
• take naps
• get crafty
• read out loud to my girls

I Won't:

• get up before 8:30/9:00
• make plans that I don't REALLY want to do just because I don't want to say no
• eat Jeff Smith's delicious unhealthy treats that lay about tempting me to devour them
• get upset when I see my birds at the ranch (they had to move out due to my daughter's allergies)
• write blog posts about the daughter I mentioned above because she likes her privacy
• spend too much time on Facebook or the computer 
• spend too much time lesson planning for the last 6 weeks of school (even though I'm stressing about how to fit the rest in with 6 weeks left)
• spend too much time fretting over the number of days I have left of my break
• watch mindless television just because it is on
• worry. "Consider the lilies..."
• complain
• take out my i-phone when there is a real human being in front of me

Poetic Food Chain

Learned about the mountain food chain from my daughter today:

The sun gives the mustard plant energy,
The gopher eats the mustard plant,
The weasel eats the gopher,
...The mountain lion eats the weasel,
...The mountain lion dies...then decomposes...
and it all starts again.
The sun is the most important, or there is no food chain.

Now that is poetry.

 

I'm in TROUBLE

One of my darling daughters-I'm not saying which one- is upset that I write about her on Facebook. (I don't even KNOW what she'll say when she remembers this blog!) She does not appreciate me sharing stories about her, even among friends. She said she does NOT appreciate my posts. Her life is HER business.

I told her that I love sharing stories about her. (I realize that this sounds selfish.)

I told her that I would never share things that would humiliate her. (Now that she's ten...when she was little, I did share about mermaids in the tub, Tom Men, and having a "dent." See previous blogs for further explanations.)

I told her that the world loves to hear the intelligent, funny, adorable, quirky things she says.

She gave me the eyeroll.

"Please!" I begged. "How can I write about just one of you?"

We came up with an agreement. I will let her read and approve the post before "putting it out there."

I honor that. I would want the same thing from someone writing about me. I feel like we've just taken a giant step toward Teenage-land, but she's only ten!

I will keep my end of the agreement. I will NOT post anything about her on Facebook without her approval, even though writing is what I do. I will be consciencious toward her feelings.

Essentially, I now have an editor. A ten-year-old editor. I feel her gaze on every word I type.

How do newspaper columnists write about their families or their world without getting into trouble?

What about people who write novels that are "entirely fiction"?

NOT writing about my family (including this daughter) is like not using my arms for the day. Writing about the people I love is what I DO.

So I will go forward, cautiously writing tidbits that are probably meaningless to most of the world, all the while knowing that they mean everything to my ten-year-old editor who hopes to keep a shred of privacy and dignity despite having a mother whose life is like a coffee table book of art, open for the world to see.

The Circle of Life

Emma and I were scrolling through the television, looking for shows that would be interesting, and nothing good was on. We ended up on a show about animals. The screen showed a big, white goose chasing a very small fox.

"Oh!" I said, "look at the adorable goose!"

"What's she doing?" asked Emma. "Oh HOW CUTE! She's chasing that little fox. What a bossy goose!"

"Too funny," I agreed, when all of a sudden, the camera zoomed in and I realized why the goose was chasing the fox. The fox had a baby gosling in his mouth. The baby was STILL ALIVE, squaking, and the mama goose was running after the fox to get her baby.

My fingers fumbled on the remote. I tried to change the channel, but couldn't make the evil image go away. My fingers seemed to get wider and more awkward in their panic. I shouted with terror. "AWWWWWWWWWWRRRRRGGGGG!!!"

Finally the screen darkened.

My daughter and I just looked at each other with wide eyes. Her lower lip began to tremble. Suddenly, she whispered, "Why does stuff like that ALWAYS have to happen to us?"

And we both started to laugh. Loudly. We stared at each other, crying and then laughing, and then snorting and laughing.

"I guess that's the circle of life," Emma mustered.

Yes. The circle of life. The moments you adore. The moments you abhor. The moments in between. The fox and the goose. The fumble. The tears and laughter...and the moments that allow for both.

It's all soooo worth it.

These Have I Hated...

hairy spiders (sorry, Charlotte!)
walnuts
half-melted, dirty snow
being cold
hangnails
apathy
pills that get stuck in your throat
sweaters that are wet from the washing machine, and that feeling you get when you pick one up
headaches
mold on veggies that you JUST bought
foot cramps
p.e. 
kitty litter boxes
early morning meetings/appointments/anything
flat bike tires
tetherball 
microwaved frozen meals
the jeopardy song
slimy talk show hosts who provoke fights
morning breath
itches
neglect 
the word "x-mas"
grammar errors 

True Love

The husband is buried here, and the wife's name is on the gravestone without any date of death. We saw this on Valentine's day...I'm assuming the wife left these flowers for her husband.

These Have I Loved...

banana pancakes

pug snores

MAC (computers AND makeup)

letters (the old fashioned kind)

Jello Cook and Serve Chocolate Pudding

roller skates (the old-school kind)

Dylan Thomas

used book stores

metaphors

warm vanilla scented Candles

magazines

newly sharpened pencils

three-day weekends

semicolons

hazelnut lattes

American history

lilacs

The Central Coast

pumpkin pie

horse muzzles

bedtime herbal tea

tiny sandwiches

Clinique perfume

ballet flats

Anne Taylor Loft

hot, hot baths

naps

research

maps (including Google map!)

typing really fast

The Gaslamp in San Diego

sleeping in

Scrabble

cat whiskers

lavendar

red wine

theaters (for acting)

going out to breakfast

Edna St. Vincent Millay

"how you met" stories

Huntington Gardens

sonnets

scones

...to be discovered continuously...

Piggy Tails and Whoopie Pies

All dressed up and nowhere to go!

                                                      

The lunch lady getting ready to go out on the town.

                                         

My girl Gracie making Valentine's whoopie pies

 Fancy mix

Claire Bear didn't help make pies, but posed in the apron. :)

I'm busy Mama! Take the picture already!

As usual, they wait for accidental dropping

The finished product...yum!

A Trip

Me, sometime in the 1970's (look at the pic on the left)

Grace, 2006

Me, October 1979 or 80?

Emma, November 2010

Like mother, like daughter(s)!

Testimony

I see the divine in my life.

I see it in Jeff's garden, the artichoke plant pushing its way up through the soil, trying its best to become an artichoke.

I see it in the tiny acorns the girls found on our hike.

I see it in every one of Grace's freckles.

I see it in Emma's ability to lift one eyebrow to give me that silly look which ends with both of us laughing.

I see it in the wrinkles of a pug's face, etched with perfection, down to the beauty mark on the side.

I hear it in music- from Emma's clumsy, determined piano playing to the vibrations from Jeff's I-pod as he cooks in the kitchen.

Blessed, blessed, blessed I am.

I love sharing that little moment with God, where I pause and smile, barely believing He knew me so well that he was able to give me my heart's desire with this sweet family.

Hope for the Future

These are quotes my students used in their "This I Believe" essays for my class. :)

"I believe that without self confidence and desire, success does not exist." -Christian Pamlenyi

"I believe that if you have the will and the determination, you can achieve anything." - Jakob Thomas

"I believe that sometimes we want life to act like a video game, but in life there is no pause menu, no 'revert to last save' option, or respawning five seconds after dying." -Kenton Kristell

"I believe everything happens for a reason." -Krista Phillips

"People can tell the type of person you are from how you look." -Jace Clark

"I believe that our diversity is what unites us." -Brooke Villalobos

"I believe you can be your own teddy bear." -Rachel Nelson

"I believe no one can shape who you are but yourself." -Rachel Ruhlman

"I believe in freedom." -Ricky Orellano

"I believe money can't buy happiness." - Lexie Hernandez

"Sports have more to offer than meets the eye." -Nathanial Dillon

" Do not tell me who I can and cannot be. I am my own man. I will be who I want to be." Clayton Willis

Weirdness...A Confession

It is my belief that we all have touch of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I realize that some people are debilitated by it, and I'm not talking about that degree of the disorder. I'm talking about the weird little habits we have...our own little rituals to even the balance of this crazy world.

Minor clean freak stuff doesn't count. I admit, I don't touch doorknobs or shopping carts with my hands. I use a paper towel on the door and a wipe for the cart. There must be millions of people who feel this way about germs because they have trash cans by the bathroom doors now and wipes for the cart almost everywhere you go. Logically, this doesn't make sense. I spent most of my childhood not caring about germs at all. I remember being at Disneyland as a small child and my mom telling me to remove my chin from where it was resting on the metal fence near where you wait in line. I didn't see the problem with resting my chin there. Heck...I may have even licked the fence without a problem. (I didn't...) It didn't matter that thousands of germy people touched that fence on a daily basis. I had no fear of germs.

But germ awareness is not what I'm talking about. No, no, no. I'm talking about my weird obsessive compulsive habit of "unwinding." How does this work? If I turn around to look at something, I feel the need to unwind by turning back the way I came. I don't like turning in a complete circle because I feel like I'm out of balance...like I've wound up and need to go back to "zero." It's hard to explain because it's WEIRD. I admit it!

Another example of my OCD? I have an aversion to odd years. I don't like them as much as even years. I liked 2010 because it was an EVEN year. This weird belief doesn't really hold up because some of the most beautiful things in my life have happened to me during odd years. The girls were born in 2001. I was married in 1995. Both were good odd years. But I still prefer even years. I was born in 1972. I graduated from high school in 1990. Those were good years too! Nothing about this weirdness makes sense.

One more weird confession...and I don't know if you can call it OCD. It's probably just odd...I tend to think of numbers and silverware as male or female. Number 3? Male. Number 9? Female. With silverware, I think the weirdness stems from the way I remember how to set the table. The fork (a male) goes on the left side of the plate. He is in love with the spoon (a female) who is being held hostage on the right side of the plate by the knife (a male), who insists on being between the fork and the spoon. The knife's sharp edge is pointed toward the fork.

Weirdo! Strange, strange, strange.

But I know others have crazy OCD/Weird/Strangeness. If you relate, leave a comment. It will feel good to get it off your chest. I won't laugh at you...promise. :)

Sharing the Harvest

Rice on the face...

More rice victims.

Water squiring was Emma's favorite job.

People lining up for boxes of food, all donated by the school and the community.

Our amazing culinary students serving the food they prepared. (Isn't our cafeteria lovely?)

The turkey carvers. :)

My girls and me...sharing the harvest! :)

The booth. The kids with their backs to us have rice all over their faces.

I haven't updated my blog about work lately. After a year of teaching middle school, I realized that my heart was truly dedicated to high school students. They are my "peeps." I had a lot of fun with my 8th graders last year, but decided to go back to high school. I transferred to the new high school in my community. It is a breathtakingly beautiful facility, full of innovative ideas and a sense of community. Yesterday, that was made evident through our school's second annual "Share the Harvest" festival. Through donations, our school fed a full Thanksgiving dinner to hundreds of families. In addition, we gave turkeys and boxes of food to the families, and had a room in our gym full of carnival-style games and jumpies for the kids. As the co-advisor for the class of 2014, I was there all day with my girls. Our booth was called "Get the rice off your face using only your face." Our sweet freshmen were there all day, volunteering their time. More importantly, my girls were able to see how good it feels to give of your time. They left the event feeling grateful for all they have, knowing that for many of the families who attended the event, this was the only Thanksgiving meal they would have.

Our hearts were filled with Thanksgiving! :)